Updated: Apr 27, 2021
Let me start by saying stop guilt-tripping yourself for the decisions you once made while you felt things were going to be different. You were very young or maybe everyone around you kept telling you your maternal clock was ticking. You might have thought that guy loved you or maybe that one-night stand would never turn into a baby; maybe you wanted a baby but did not think of the consequences that could mark your entire life forever.
I was 19 years old when I found out I was pregnant and 20 when I gave birth to my daughter Jaelynn. I was scared, unsure, and completely lost. I contemplated the idea of giving her up for adoption, but I knew I could never let her go. I cried my entire pregnancy because I felt like a total failure and I knew I was going to raise her alone. I was now marked with the single mother tag but not just a single mother but someone who was too young to be a mother in the eyes of a very cold world. I felt and heard the judgment constantly, but my mother said to me “tu no vas a ser solo una madre soltera” which means you are not only going to be a single mother.
I have questioned many of my decisions in life but the one that stood very true to me and I will never question is God’s plan for me. I had every intention of making my daughter proud to call me mom. I did not want her to be ashamed of her single mother but proud of the woman who has her back and no this had nothing to do with my career choices, with the appearance, or with expensive items; this was deeper. I needed to dig deeper and become the woman God needed me to be so I can raise her to fulfill her purpose in life. I eventually had to realize it was not just about my purpose, but it is about our purpose and His glory.
No, I am not just a single mother I am a woman who aims to uplift. I am a woman who refuses to be broken. I am a force to be reckoned with because my strength comes from the almighty. I was chosen to bear one of his angels although I felt was not prepared for that. When I cried at night as I watched her sleep praying, she did not end up hating me He walked the journey with me to what has been my greatest accomplishment to date. Will it all be rainbows and butterflies no but the battle belongs to him.
So, no you are not just a single mother, you are not a bitter baby mama, you are not a failure. You are a woman chosen to continue life perhaps different from how you envisioned it but you have a pretty hard task to accomplish, and when God created the woman you would be he had no intentions of you seeing yourself as a ‘JUST’. You might not understand it right now and those tears might seem like a never-ending river of pain, but I promise you this is not the end.
YOU ARE NOT JUST A SINGLE MOTHER!
Exercise: I challenge you to look in the mirror and say five positive things about yourself every single day for a month. It is time you hear and see how great you are from your very own soul!